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| "Hey Mr. Richardson." the new intern, Robert called him.
"Hmm?" he turned around, "Oh, It's you, Robert. Call me Ian ok? No need to be so formal around here."
"Uhm.. Can I ask you something?"
"Just shoot." Ian smiled.
Robert leaned against his table and whispered softly, "I need to get home early. Could you let me..."
"Got a date huh?" he asked. Robert blushed and nodded in reply.
"Sure thing, It's already five, you can leave in a while. I'll be leaving soon myself."
Ian turned back to his work when Robert blurted out, "Thanks, Mr. Richardson, I really, really appreciate it!"
Ian smiled and carried on with his work. He smiled briefly when Robert
walked out with a grin on his face. Ian started packing his stuff and
was getting ready to leave his office when he noticed the date on the
office calendar. "Shit." he cursed. He rang up the florist and ordered
a dozen roses over the phone and hurriedly asked the woman to hurry and
make sure it was ready when he got there.
"Yes sir, no problem. Buying them for your wife?" the florist answered cheerfully.
He kept silent for a moment then replied, " Yeah, you could say that."
He left a note on his table for Robert saying that he would be taking
the day off tomorrow. There was no need to explain to Richard, he knew
what day it was.
Robert got to the office early the next day, feeling upbeat about his
date the previous night. He read the note and decided to ask the other
boss, Richard where Ian had went.
Richard frowned and looked at the calendar. "Ah, judging by today's date, I'd say he went to visit his wife's gravestone."
"But... I met his wife last week when she came to pick up a cheque from the office. Has she..?" Robert stammered.
"No, and that was his ex-wife you met. She was the second wife, his first wife died years ago in childbirth."
"What?!!"
| | |
| The pouring rain subsided to a drizzle after the funeral service. He
watched dispassionately as his mother's coffin was buried in the earth.
His ties with her through out these past few years had been strained.
She didn't understand the young man her precious little choirboy had
turned into. In all honesty, he admitted he didn't understand himself
at times.
It
saddened him that he hadn't been able to come visit her as often as he
would have liked. But his father had forbidden him to return alone, for
the distance was too great. But still, he felt guilty that his mother
had died alone, and that strangers were the ones to find her cold body.
His
father stood aways, quietly talking to the pastor and thanking him for
the lovely sermon he had read for the 'ex-wife'. 'The ex-wife', that
was how his father referred to his mother these days. Nary a mention
about what had led to the divorce nor why they had seperated on such
bad terms. One would have thought his father hated her guts for merely
being alive.
But still, he saw the old man crying softly the
night before the funeral when he had thought no one was looking. That
sobered him somewhat, at least somewhere inside the old fool remembered
the emotions that had stirred him into marrying her when they were
younger.
He spoke to his father briefly, informing he was going
off to have a cigarette. The old man's face went stony but he nodded
reluctantly. Smiling spitefully at his father, he walked away and
headed under the trees to smoke.
He noticed the girl staring at
him again, she had been looking at him ever since he had walked into
the church hall. Something about her irritated him, and yet he couldn't
place her face in his memories. Probably some Sunday school kid he used
to read the bible with he mused thoughtfully.
To his surprise she approached him and talked to him. "I'm sorry," she said.
He
offered her a cigarette, ignoring her previous comment. She looked as
if he had offered her a snake. She turned to walk away, when he spoke,
"Sorry about what?"
"About your mother." she said, turning to face him.
"Oh. That. Why?" he asked.
"What?.. I mean she's dead...uh..passed away. Anyways, I'm sorry you lost your mother." she stammered.
"Oh, you're trying to make me feel better, eh?"
"Yes.."
"Why? I don't know you. Or do I? Are you one of those mourners that were hired?" he said, poking fun at her.
"Whaa...t? Hired?"
"It's
a Chinese thing. You wouldn't understand" he sighed, " So what can I do
for you? Or what can you do for me?" He said cheekily looking her up
and down.
She was beginning to feel irritated with his high and
mighty attitude and his constant poking fun of her. "What's wrong with
you, don't you feel sad that your mother's dead? How can you be
disgracing her by smoking at the burial ground?" she snapped.
"Don't you have any shame at all?" she demanded.
Instead of the expected outburst from him, it seemed she had made him smile even wider.
"You've
grown up well, haven't you?" he said, cocking his head to look at her
closely. "I remember you now! Pity you're still as uptight as usual."
he tapped his cheek thoughtfully looking at her. He smiled again and
leaned over, catching her by surprise when he kissed her on the lips.
After
she overcame the shock, she narrowed her eyes angrily and threw a fist
at him. The next thing she knew was that she was now flat on her back
on grass and all the breath had been knocked out of her.
"I'm
not six years old anymore, don't think you know me, you stupid brat. I
grew up without my mother, idiots like you wouldn't understand what she
means to me." he said softly, standing above her.
"No soft hands
were there to wipe my tears away, to tell me I had tried my best and
that it was okay to fail. I had two choices, waste away emotionally or
stand on my feet and claw my way up."
"You're sorry? For what?
Having a good life and not being able to understand? Don't make me
laugh." he flicked his cigarette away and turned away from her.
"Dream of me." he winked.
"Asshole!" she shouted at his retreating back. | | |
| They met when they were six years old. She was a tomboyish girl tall
for her age and he was a fat chubby little boy who was shy around
strangers.
She
never took notice of him during Church or the Sunday school classes,
till one day he caught her attention in church one day when he stepped
up to the front and began to sing a hymn.
"God's grace on my face,
I will not lose my faith,
His blessings upon my life,
I will never waver in my faith,
In God's love i will trust.
His son upon the cross,
Took away my sins,
Father in heaven,
Who forgives all who believe,
in His almighty love."
It
was a simple hymn which he sang with all his heart. After he sang, he
stood with his cheeks flushed and hurried back to his seat after polite
applause from the congregation.
Two hours later, out of jealousy
she hit him and made him cry during Sunday school. Not the greatest of
starts to their relationship, but sure enough she got his attention.
A
month after the incident she beat him up, he moved away but she noticed
his mother still kept going to the same church on her own.
She
wanted to ask about him but she noticed that alot of the other
church-goers acted awkwardly around his mother and that his mother
looked very sad, expecially during when a child would go in front to
sing a hymn. After each service his mother would leave quickly and
there was no chance for her to ask what had happened to him.
Finally she asked her own mother what had happened.
"Oh..,"
her mother covered her mouth and looked sadly at where his mother was
seated and said softly, " Be grateful dear, you'll never find out the
pain she's going through." Her mother hugged her tightly and gently
kissed her forehead. "It's better you don't know."
She continued to wonder about what was going on, but heeded her mother's advise not to pry into other people's private matters.
It
was ten years later before she ever saw him again. The chubby boy was
gone, replaced by a young man dressed in black staring at the rain with
blood shot eyes. He noticed her looking at him and shrugged wryly and
walked out of the churchyard into the rain.
It was his mother's funeral. | | |
| When she walked into the house, she found him seated on the sofa, clasping a whiskey glass and staring into space.
He looked up and waved idly as she walked past him in to Nina's room. "Oh, you've come to get her stuff already?" he mumbled.
"You just had to go and lose your temper again, didn't you." she said sadly.
Refusing to look her in the eyes, he replied, "I may have reacted abit too harshly, but in the end..."
She
sighed and leaned back against the plush living room chair. "I know
what you mean, but still. She hates your guts right now."
He
tried to pour another shot of whisky and shrug at the same time but
spilled on the floor. "I think maybe.. I've had abit too
much to drink," he slurred.
The room was spinning and he decided to lay back and watch it. She watched as he closed his eyes
and fell asleep. Prising the glass from his fingers, she placed
it on the coffee table and watched him fondly.
How many times
had she watched him doze off quickly whilst she continued working
through the night? Not many since the separation, she mused. He still
came to see her occasionally, but not once had he asked her to go back
to him. It seemed he felt that her answer would have been the wrong
one, for her at least.
It irked her, that regardless of whatever
had happened, he was still the only person who truly understood what
she was thinking. And she knew that he would never demand anything of
her again, not after what happened when she gave birth to Nina.
"Why won't you tell her?.." she whispered.
He
surprised her when he opened one eye sleepily and said, " Because she
won't understand."
"Neither do I," she muttered.
"I
drink heavily, I smoke like a chimney, I stay out all night, and I
don't call to say when I'm going to be late for dinner," he replied.
"Asshole."
"You see what I mean?"
| | |
| "Pa, can you hurry up!!" Nina pestered her father.
"All right already, will you just shut up and let me drive in peace? It's only bloody 8.30, your classes don't start till 10." her father replied testily.
Ignoring her father she went on, "Well I don't want to be late. I've got too many things to do, if I'm late I'll never get noticed." she sniffed.
Her father rolled his eyes and kept quiet. This side of his daughter was extremely disturbing. He wasn't used to all her quirks ever since she started college.
She now made demands like having to drop her off 5 minutes away from her college, so that no one would see her being driven around by him. Having to wait at the same spot once she finished classes, only for her to some times call and say a boy was giving her a lift home.
He found it mildly amusing but also somewhat irritating. He knew better to say anything, but admittedly it hurt him that his own daughter wouldn't want to be seen in public with her father. 'She's that age,' he reminded himself firmly.
"Jesus! Dad will you please pay some attention to me?" grated her voice snapping him out of his reverie.
"Sorry, wasn't listening." he muttered.
"Yeah, you never pay attention, no wonder mom left you." she said rudely.
He slammed the brakes of the car immediately. Cars began honking and swerving out of the way and quite a few fingers were thrown at their direction.
A piece of ice was lodged in his chest. He was shocked how his daughter could have said something so callous. He pulled over to the side and looked hard at his daughter.
"What did you say?" he asked quietly.
"You heard me, no wonder mom left you! Now get going already!" she snapped.
Furious, he stared coldly at her and said, "Get out of my car."
"What?" she demanded incredulously.
"You heard me. Get out of my car. Don't bother coming home either; I'll have your crap sent over to your mother's place. Now get out!"
He reached across and opened the door. "Out, Now!"
"But..." she stammered.
"Out!" He shoved her out of the car causing her to fall and scrape her knees. He threw out her bag and missed her head by inches.
Nina stood shakily and watched dumbly as her father continued glaring at her. She saw him shaking his head as he sped off. She watched the car leave her behind and whispered, “Daddy?”.
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